Recently I've felt like my age is really hitting me. (I say that like I'm in my 50s.) But really. It's an interesting time to be in. I'm about to start my senior year, about to turn eighteen. It's hard to believe that soon I'll be going off to college. (I say that as if I already graduated.) But truly, time does fly by. This past school year went by so fast, as has this summer thus far. Something I've really been trying to work on is staying present. With many of my friends preparing to go to college and preparing to go on missions I have already jumped to that time in my life. I keep forgetting that I still have my senior year left. I still have my summer left. I still have today left. I find myself getting restless when it feels like nothing is happening. It's hard, because I feel aimless and purposeless, in a way. I have things to do, but so much time to do them so it feels like I have nothing to do. It has been especially difficult these past fews days because I went from camp to preparing for Germany to youth conference. I didn't have a lot of time to not be present. But now it's to easy to begin daydreaming. To help combat this, I'm making sure to give myself time to just be bored. That sounds counterintuitive, but instead of this fake productivity where I'm half doing something half daydreaming, I'm instead giving myself permission to just sit there and let my brain just run. In these 'bored' times I also try to be aware of what's around me. I ate breakfast outside today just to see what's going on in my neighborhood, and to have time to myself. I've also tried to stay off Pinterest and Youtube, which are sites I visit when I'm avoiding something, or right now, because I'm bored. Most of the time I look at travel related items. Those definitely don't help me stay present. So I try to stay away unless I have a conscious and intentional reason. But even then I sometimes get sidetracked. I just feel like I need to view a new experience, learn something new, hear another story. I don't feel this pull as much when it's during the school year, because I'm getting that stimulation my brain needs by learning. And that's great. As I'm writing this I'm thinking about ways to stimulate my brain during this uneventful time in my life. I've been trying to work, and I've started to do more with my sister's fundraiser, which will be a large focus during the school year. I've also recently acquired a new kindle, so I'm trying to read more, which has not been a strength of mine for a bit. I'm also looking to read more fiction (*gasp*) because I do very little of that, and I believe that being well-rounded is important. I mainly just read self improvement books. That reminds me of the other day. My brother, very intuitively told me one of my red flags is that I don't know how to relax. Even in my 'relaxing' I still find a way to try to make it mean something. (Enter always reading self-improvement.) I do believe that there is some truth to what he is saying. I really don't do a lot of 'relaxing', but I don't necessarily feel like I need to. I get my relaxing from going to bed on time, from reading my scriptures every morning and night, and having purposeful running training. Looking at that, one may think that that girl needs to relax. But maybe I just relax differently. Summer is definitely a fun time, but it also brings up plenty of reflection. I'm trying to be in tune with the Spirit so I can hear what the Lord is trying to tell me in these times of reflection.